A New Commitment

Though I know that I'm far from perfect, I tend to think of myself as a person who dose most things right and hardly anything bad. Of course I know I do bad things, everyone does, but I never really see it as a big deal. Minor bumps in the road toward a better me that I'm always trying to get too. And although it's true I try to be a better me, I often seem to forget that those "minor bumps" are exactly the opposite. The little white lies, or the occasional glimpse of something I shouldn't see, even the harsh words said about others, there more then just "bumps," WAY more. All these things I'v come to see as (mostly) harmless are really kind of a big deal. There wicked, vile, mean things, every "bump" is a very large, very devastating step in the WRONG direction. It seems I try to be optimistic, but instead I should look at it with not optimism, and not pessimism, but just look at it as it is. Those things are wrong. They are evil. Bad choices. They break Gods law and cause Him pain. It causes my spiritual life to fall apart, creates a gap, far to wide for me to cross, between me and God. It hurts me, God and even the people around me, even in simple, subtle ways.

The fact that I can see this and yet it still happens is a sign of my own weakness. A weakness that I can't do anything about. I can't make myself stronger in it, can't work around it, can't even ignore it. I realize now the only way to solve this problem is for God to intervene in a major way. I have to ask God to help me. And let me tell you, asking for help is NOT something I like to do, nor do I enjoy it when I do. At all. But it has to be done or I'll just keep going on and on as I have been, and honestly, that seems more than a little depressing. To know I'm constantly doing wrong by my Creator and still go on with it just because I'm to stubborn to ask for help? Not likely. So what I really need to do is suck it up and ask already. This isn't the first time I'v thought about this, so whats the deal? Why is it still an issue? Because I'm stubborn, and I don't know whats good for me. But God does. He knows exactly what's best for me. 

It's time to make a commitment. A commitment to let God work in me and with me. To ask Him to challenge me and give me the strength and ability to withstand the Devils arrows. To stand tall and follow His commands. To accept His Love and Grace, and to do His will in return. 

God, I ask that by Your Mercy and Grace, You would forgive me of these sins. The sins I have committed against You and Your Kingdom. Please be with me as I face the coming struggles in this life. Help me to be strong, and shield me from the flaming arrows. Only by Your power and strength can I live my life to the fullest in Your name. Please allow me to serve Your will and expand Your Kingdom. Give me the strange to uphold this commitment, to always follow You and obey Your commands. Forever in Your Holy name, Amen.